Just Take The Damn Compliment

Hey, how's it going?
What has everybody been up to?
Last week I flew from Tasmania to Adelaide to help my brother and his wife move back here. I had one day of really nice weather. Like I'm talking about a 35 degree day, then it immediately turned to 21 degrees and windy. Go figure. Like for real though, everywhere else in Australia is like a heatwave that won't end and here in Tassie it literally snowed on the mountains last weekend. Why don't we get a summer?
Winter is going to be long...

One thing I've always struggled with is accepting compliments. This is something that I've noticed a lot of other people seem to struggle with, especially girls.
It's strange and I don't know how it happened, because my parents have always been really encouraging, but I somehow got into the mindset where it felt arrogant to simply accept a compliment.
If someone complimented my hair, I would immediately feel slightly uncomfortable with the attention, then I would disagree with what they said. I would say something like, 'oh no, it's a mess today', then laugh awkwardly. Or I would try to divert the attention back onto someone else by saying something like 'your hair is way prettier'.
I could never just take the damn compliment. I always had to disagree, divert the attention or prove my inferiority by comparing myself to someone else.
Anyone else know what I'm talking about?
Unfortunately, I think a lot of you do.

Here's what I've learnt and what I constantly have to remind myself.
When someone takes the time to compliment you they're saying, 'hey I've noticed you and I see something so special in you that I need to tell you.'
They're not asking for anything in return (maybe they are but screw em' if they're that self interested), they just want you to know that you're beautiful, talented or appreciated. They want you to know you're loved.
No matter how shitty I am feeling about myself, that doesn't change what someone else might see in me.
They might not notice the thin layer or dry shampoo thats stopping the grease from showing in my hair. Or the pimple on my chin and the tiny stain on my shirt.
But they might notice the colour of my eyes or my outfit as a whole.
Everyone has a unique perspective, so when someone compliments you, take it. Accept their positivity and allow that positivity to brighten your own perspective.

I've learnt to say thank you as a reflex because I've realised that denying compliments is a sign of insecurity and only increases those insecurities. Accepting compliments actually helps build my self esteem and accepting them out of reflex is really useful because it overrides my instinct to deny the compliment. So I encourage you to practice that. Learn to say thank you and tell you're insecurities to shut the hell up.

The final thing I've learnt is to give compliments. If you see something about another person that grabs your attention, tell them. Tell your friend that her new shoes are cute, or that her makeup looks extra good to day. Tell your mum that that colour looks really nice on her.
I've found that giving compliments without any expectation of reciprocation, makes you more open to the idea that someone else might do the same to you. It also makes you notice the way others deny appreciation. I think it was watching others reject compliments and wondering why they wouldn't just take the damn compliment, that made me realise I was the same. That it was something that wasn't an attractive quality to have or healthy for my self-esteem.

So please, just take the damn compliment. Accept that someone loves and cares about you and let their words build you up. Don't let yourself make you feel even shittier. Let others brighten your day and let yourself see through their eyes.

If you have any thoughts you would like to add, please let me know in the comments. Like seriously, blogging to a quiet audience is boring as hell. Make some noise for me please. Thank you!
From Rachael,
With Love.

The Makeup Diaries no.1 | You don't need it

    Hey, how was everyone's Australia Day, or if your not from Australia did you have a good week? My Australia day ended up being pretty chill, I mostly sipped Iced Watermelon Mocktails and listened to the Triple J's hottest 100 as I baked macarons and passionfruit tarts for a bridal shower on the weekend. At the bridal shower we had a donut wall, which is honestly one of the prettiest and most delicious ideas ever! Check out my instagram to see photos, I haven't posted any of the shower yet but will in a few days...

    ANYWAY, so today I wanted to talk about makeup and share with you some of my thoughts on the subject. From the age of about 13 girls are faced with the decision of being the type of girl who wears makeup or the type who doesn't. Some girls start wearing as much as they can as soon as they can, while others might decide to only wear mascara for now and change their mind in a few years. And others decide to never wear makeup at all, or only on special occasions.
    But the thing is, everyone has a different relationship with makeup. Makeup makes some girls feel stronger, more confident. Others feel prettier wearing it and more themselves. Some people even feel extremely uncomfortable and insecure wearing it. It's strange how it can create so many different reactions in people, and yet it does.

    But I think that is something we need to remember, and I think that a lot of people don't. Often on the internet I come across beauty bloggers and vloggers who create these beautiful makeup looks but forget to teach their viewers about natural beauty and how to be confident without makeup. Beauty bloggers and vloggers are incredibly talented and I know not all do this, but I often find they're so focused on the makeup aspect of beauty they forget about the natural, authentic part.
    This is part of the reason I have a love hate relationship with makeup. I love how it can enhance your natural beauty, but I hate it when I feel insecure without it, or when I see people who are incapable of being seen without it.

     Makeup is not something that we actually need and people are still beautiful without it. I believe society should stop encouraging girls so young to wear it on a daily basis, because that just encourages them to be dependant on it. 13 year old girls are insecure enough as it is and while makeup may temporarily make them feel more confident I believe that not wearing makeup until you are completely (or as close as you can get) confident in your natural appearance is far more beneficial to your self esteem. I personally only wore mascara until I was about 17, and I'm not saying you should necessarily do the same, but because of that makeup is something that I can take or leave most days. I am quite confident being seen without makeup and often wear it more for fun than anything else. I just don't think it's good to be reliant on something to make you feel beautiful.

That's all I have to say on the subject of makeup for now, but I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings towards makeup in the comments. I hope that my thoughts are useful to you and that they will give you the confidence to have a go at not wearing makeup for a day, or the confidence to feel okay about not wearing it when all your friends do. There is nothing wrong with loving makeup and wearing it, just remember that you don't need it.
With love,
From Rachael