Just Take The Damn Compliment

Hey, how's it going?
What has everybody been up to?
Last week I flew from Tasmania to Adelaide to help my brother and his wife move back here. I had one day of really nice weather. Like I'm talking about a 35 degree day, then it immediately turned to 21 degrees and windy. Go figure. Like for real though, everywhere else in Australia is like a heatwave that won't end and here in Tassie it literally snowed on the mountains last weekend. Why don't we get a summer?
Winter is going to be long...

One thing I've always struggled with is accepting compliments. This is something that I've noticed a lot of other people seem to struggle with, especially girls.
It's strange and I don't know how it happened, because my parents have always been really encouraging, but I somehow got into the mindset where it felt arrogant to simply accept a compliment.
If someone complimented my hair, I would immediately feel slightly uncomfortable with the attention, then I would disagree with what they said. I would say something like, 'oh no, it's a mess today', then laugh awkwardly. Or I would try to divert the attention back onto someone else by saying something like 'your hair is way prettier'.
I could never just take the damn compliment. I always had to disagree, divert the attention or prove my inferiority by comparing myself to someone else.
Anyone else know what I'm talking about?
Unfortunately, I think a lot of you do.

Here's what I've learnt and what I constantly have to remind myself.
When someone takes the time to compliment you they're saying, 'hey I've noticed you and I see something so special in you that I need to tell you.'
They're not asking for anything in return (maybe they are but screw em' if they're that self interested), they just want you to know that you're beautiful, talented or appreciated. They want you to know you're loved.
No matter how shitty I am feeling about myself, that doesn't change what someone else might see in me.
They might not notice the thin layer or dry shampoo thats stopping the grease from showing in my hair. Or the pimple on my chin and the tiny stain on my shirt.
But they might notice the colour of my eyes or my outfit as a whole.
Everyone has a unique perspective, so when someone compliments you, take it. Accept their positivity and allow that positivity to brighten your own perspective.

I've learnt to say thank you as a reflex because I've realised that denying compliments is a sign of insecurity and only increases those insecurities. Accepting compliments actually helps build my self esteem and accepting them out of reflex is really useful because it overrides my instinct to deny the compliment. So I encourage you to practice that. Learn to say thank you and tell you're insecurities to shut the hell up.

The final thing I've learnt is to give compliments. If you see something about another person that grabs your attention, tell them. Tell your friend that her new shoes are cute, or that her makeup looks extra good to day. Tell your mum that that colour looks really nice on her.
I've found that giving compliments without any expectation of reciprocation, makes you more open to the idea that someone else might do the same to you. It also makes you notice the way others deny appreciation. I think it was watching others reject compliments and wondering why they wouldn't just take the damn compliment, that made me realise I was the same. That it was something that wasn't an attractive quality to have or healthy for my self-esteem.

So please, just take the damn compliment. Accept that someone loves and cares about you and let their words build you up. Don't let yourself make you feel even shittier. Let others brighten your day and let yourself see through their eyes.

If you have any thoughts you would like to add, please let me know in the comments. Like seriously, blogging to a quiet audience is boring as hell. Make some noise for me please. Thank you!
From Rachael,
With Love.

How To Grow Your Love For Reading

Hey, hows it going? Hope you all have a great first week back at school. I doubt it will be as horrible as you think it'll be.

I may have already mentioned this, but I'm a big fan of reading. There's nothing I love more than to sit in the sun with a good book and be swept into another world.
Books are so important in so many ways. They widen ones vocabulary, challenge your thoughts and opinions and can expand your imagination.
I know this because I'm studying english at university haha.

My love for reading began when I was a about 8 and a half. I really wanted my ears pierced so mum made me a deal. She told me that if I read twenty (or at least I think it was twenty) books then I could get my ears pierced. Now during this time we were actually travelling overseas for three months, so I had plenty of opportunities to read on all the train and plane rides. Unfortunately, because we were overseas it made finding books written in english a little more complicated. But I found the Rainbow Magic series and a few others and by the time we got to Paris I had well and truly completed the challenge mum had set for me and was ready to claim my prize.
From there I read Narnia, Harry Potter, A Series of Unfortunate Events and by the time I hit High School I was well and truly a reader.

Now, yes I do love books and reading, but sometimes I somehow forget this and get into a bit of a reading slump. This usually happens mid semester when I have to read several text book chapters, an Ancient Greek play or Roman poem and have to watch several hours of lectures per week. As well as speed read a couple of novels for school I haven't gotten around to finishing yet. Not to mention all those damn assignments that need to be written. All of this can make you a little word tired, so here are a few tips to grow your love for reading.

1. Read books that compliment your mood
If you're stressed out and have little time, don't pick up an epic fantasy 1000 pages long. Choose a book thats shorter, easy to read and with plots that makes you fly through the pages. I find this hard because I love really long epic fantasies, but sometimes I'm just not in the right headspace for them and reading them can feel like a chore. Also if you're in a bad mood, pick a book thats fun and happy. I dare you to read Jenny Han's To All The Boys I've Loved Before and not feel all warm and fuzzy from it.

2. Switch up the genre
Whilst every story is unique, genre's often contain the same cliches and plot devices. I always find that if I read too many books from the same genre in a row I get bored. Even if the book is fantastic, my reading experience can be damaged by the other books I read before it. This definitely happened to me during the dystopia phase. I often use stand alone contemporaries as a sort of palette cleanser between series.  

3. Reread the books you love

Am I the only one who feels a certain type of guilt whenever you go to pick up a book that you've already read? I have so many books on my to be read list that the concept of rereading feels counter productive. But there is a certain comfort in rereading a book that always invigorates me and reignites my excitement for new books. Not to mention it is a lot easier to relax while reading an old book. You know where the story is going so it's easier to be swept along by it and enjoy the general experience of reading. 

4. Set Goals

Every year I set a challenge on Goodreads for the amount of books I want to read. This year I have set the goal of 50 books, and the website actually tracks the number of books you've read. You just mark the book as 'currently reading' or 'read' and the website tells you if you're on schedule, or how many books you are behind. I'm currently 2 books behind schedule and last year I was six books off reaching my goal, so it's okay if you aren't always on top of things. But I find having the goal is a major motivator because it's is something that I have decided to try and achieve. The more you read, the more your love for it grows. 

5. Talk about books

I love discussing the books that I've read and getting recommendations off my friends. With some of my friends one of the first questions we ask each other is 'have you read any good books lately?' Talking about books always makes me so much more excited about reading and I love it when a friend recommends something and being able to back to them saying I've read it. Also if you don't have many friends who read or who don't read the same books as you, try watching book reviews on youtube or finding a blog that does great reviews. Personally I love reading Emily May's reviews on Goodreads and watching PolandbanasBOOKS booktalks on youtube. 

If you want to see what books I've been reading and what I rated them, add me on Goodreads here. Also if you have any tips on how to grow your love for reading, let me know in the comments. 

Have a fantastic week! 

With Love,

From Rachael